Newsflash! I had a good day yesterday! School was fun. I actually enjoyed myself!
As I've mentioned, I'm taking two electives this term, and both subjects are very interesting to me: Intellectual Freedom and Libraries, and the History of Books and Printing. Sounds like it has potential, but you never know until you get there.
Well, both instructors are terrific: super enthusiastic, engaged, fun, brimming with knowledge, excited to hear their students' ideas. The work load seems to be considerably less, and the work itself both more enjoyable and more self-directed.
Last term there were some interesting lectures, but school felt like something to slog through. Yesterday for the first time, I felt I was experiencing a great opportunity, something expansive and fulfilling. Something - dare I say it? - to enjoy for its own sake, not only as a means to an end.
Many of you told me this would happen, but never having been here before, I didn't understand.
In addition, I saw some acquaintances from last term, and realized how much more comfortable I feel in the environment now. Very cool!
Both classes are being taught seminar style, which means students do a good deal of the teaching. In Intellectual Freedom, students have been randomly assigned articles to read and prepare a report on, four students per class for the next four classes. As luck would have it, I'm on Week One - so I already have an assignment due next week. Since I have no choice, I'm thinking it will be great to get it over with.
However, this means I am suddenly much busier.
Also, my Mississauga war resisters event is on the horizon.
Also, I'm determined to re-join the Y and start swimming again. I froze my gym membership last July, knowing there was no way I would get there. I also took a break from the attending war resisters meetings.
I added the Campaign back to the mix in mid-October, and now it's time to add the gym back into my life - although I haven't yet figured out how or when.
So all this means that I am nervous about time. This is typical me. This is more than typical me, it's me to the core, to the DNA. Ever since I came home from second grade with math homework and a book report on the same day, I've been nervous about getting everything done. I expect it, I deal with it - "This is the part where I panic a little" - but it seems that I can't not experience it.
I have an added concern in that I can't be busy all the time. Gone are the days when I would move from one thing to the next all day, all week. My health demands down-time; it's a non-negotiable.
So I'm a little nervous... but by the end of the week I hope to feel back under control.
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