personal update, freakout, apology, open thread

I have been asked to write the final report for my portion of the research project that I've been working on this summer. There's a strict deadline - the grant ends on July 23 - and many, many loose threads to tie up. It's a great challenge.

In keeping with my writing process, right now I'm a bundle of anxiety. I'm telling myself (as I always do), "This is the part where I freak out. This is the part where I think I can't do it."

I adopted this method many, many years ago. At some point I realized that it was not down to experience, that these feelings would never go away. Much like an actor who has "stage fright" (that is, anxiety) before every single performance, no matter how much I write, no matter how many deadlines I meet, there will never come a time when I won't experience this anxiety.

Once I understood this, I embraced the process. I don't deny the feelings, but I don't give in to them either. I feel them, but I also observe them from a slight distance.

"This is the part where I freak out."

"This is part where I feel I can't do it, I won't do it, I will fail."

Right now, this blog and the many, many topics I want to write about weigh on me as one more area of my life I must neglect. Thus the apology part of the post title.

In comments, John F said that wmtc readers could use a forum to post stuff they want to share with other readers. So here you have it: an open thread. I will post a bunch of stuff that's been sitting in my inbox from James, Allan, and other readers. If anyone else has anything they want to post, feel free, unless you are one of our trolls, then be a good chap and fuck off.

I'll be quietly freaking out and hopefully getting a lot of work done at the same time.

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