welcome to new york. now please go home.

I hate tourists. I HATE THEM!



My day-job is located in the most heavily touristed part of Manhattan. From early November until after New Year's day, it's impossible to go outside. The sidewalks are literally impassable, clogged with slow-moving, slack-jawed, pink-clad, camcorder-toting hordes, walking five abreast on the sidewalk, allowing their children to run wildly through the crowd, somehow talking loudly enough to make their presence inescapable above the din.



I know what you're thinking. Yes, I love to travel. Yes, technically that sometimes makes me a tourist. But I'm not talking about real travelers, explorers, people who want to dive into a city and discover what makes it tick. I encourage everyone to visit NYC, no matter what your budget. It is a strange and magical place.



But the annoying dolts waddling down our sidewalks are not travelers. They visit only the most famous attractions, the ones on their tour bus itinerary. They eat at the same chain restaurants they do in their hometown. They never stray off the very heavily beaten track. They're not interested in New York City; that would be too different. Too scary. They want the New York City Theme Park.



I know they're supposed to be good for the City. But can't they just deposit their money and go home?