the 51st state

Before the election, my friend Spencer remarked that if Bush won, it was time for NYC to secede from the United States, as moving to Canada is so complicated. Now Spencer writes:

Still in post-election soul-searching. How far am I willing to go to win this country back? Far enough to talk about religion? about family values? About moral certainty, absolute truth? How much am I willing, really, to forgo my beloved liberal "nuance" in order to win over the center?



How much do I really want to win this country back? I feel like it's a bit like that hardbody contest in Texas, where people have to stand with their hand on a huge pickup truck for days and the last one to let go wins the truck. In the end, it's still a gas-guzzling monstrosity for which I have little use, and unless I can transform it somehow into a metrocard it's really just a liability. If this country is as full of idiots as it would appear, then its prospects for transformation seem dim.



Secession is really the best policy I think. We could do without the red states, and we can solve the problem of landfill space by expanding battery park. After all, we'll have to support a huge refugee population from San Francisco.

I love that analogy.



For more on secession, read this excellent story.