i want to leave now

I hope this doesn't offend anyone who is no rush to see me go. It's not that I want to get away from anyone. If you'll miss me, you can be sure I will miss you, too.

But I am ready. I am emotionally, mentally, psychologically ready to make the move. Our recent trip to look at apartments further gelled this state of mind.

I feel myself emotionally detaching from life here. I don't feel my usual fervor to work for change. Maybe this is partly a lingering post-election hangover of extreme disappointment. But much of it is a wish to no longer be part of this system. The war in Iraq, the war on women, on gay people, on children, on diversity, on personal freedom, the zeal to privatize and commercialize absofuckinglutely everything... It's like a huge mudslide, and our efforts to fix this legislation here or that cabinet appointment there is like tackling the mudslide with a spoon.

Not that we can or should do otherwise. Any spoonful saved is a victory.

But I have no energy for it now. I barely look at the emails from MoveOn and ACT. There are no emails from the Democrats because I took myself off their list. That all feels like my past now, and I stand facing a different future.


allan said...

While I distrust most polls, here are some reasons for head-shaking and bag-packing, courtesy of Newsweek:

79% of Americans believe that, as the Bible says, Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary, without a human father.

67% believe that the entire story of Christmas — the Virgin Birth, the angelic proclamation to the shepherds, the Star of Bethlehem and the Wise Men from the East — is historically accurate.

62% favor teaching creation science in addition to evolution in public schools; 26% oppose such teaching.

43% favor teaching creation science instead of evolution in public schools; 40% oppose the idea.

laura k said...

I could never be accused of overestimating the intelligence of the American people, but I find this very hard to believe. Could we be in the minority by that much?

If these numbers are at all accurate, wouldn't Bush have won by a landslide?

allan said...

Who knows? Princeton Survey Research Associates interviewed 1,009 adults by telephone December 2-3, 2004 for the poll.


93% believe Jesus Christ actually lived; 82% believe Jesus Christ was God or the Son of God.

52% believe Jesus will return to earth someday; 21% do not believe it.

15% believe Jesus will return in their lifetime; 47% do not.

55% believe every word of the Bible is literally accurate. 38% do not believe that about the Bible.


This insanity is not limited to Americans, of course.

Doctor Marco said...


If people like you leave the country, it will become an enormous ultraconservative place where 100% of people will be make sure it goes back to the Middle Ages... but with nuclear weapons... If you are still considering your move, take into account what I say. If you already decided it, good luck.

laura k said...

I think each of us has to do what's best for our own lives. I don't owe millions of people my happiness. I'm not a martyr.

It's similar to a US pull-out from Iraq. People say if the US leaves, there will be civil war and complete chaos. I say, that's going to happen anyway - get the troops home asap and prevent more deaths and dismemberments.

The US has been moving to the right for decades. My staying here will not substantially change things, but it will impede my own happiness.

And yes, we are moving for sure. You must not have read this blog very much. A half-hearted thank you for your halfhearted good wishes.

laura k said...

"This insanity is not limited to Americans, of course."

True, but is it often found to this extent in so-called developed, advanced nations? I think these numbers would be a lot lower in Sweden, Brazil, Australia, Germany, France, Japan, etc.

But I'm still highly skeptical of this poll.

Anonymous said...

You are not alone! Seems the whole state of Vermont wants to leave now as well!! vermontcanada.org Very creative

laura k said...

This is really cute! First NYC will secede, then VT...

My partner - who posts here as "redsock" - is from Vermont. He'll enjoy this site.

But the difference here is: we're really going.

Doctor Marco said...

They are not half-hearted wishes. I myself left my own country. I have are lots of mixed feelings. The reasons that made me leave are esentially the same ones as yours. Not right-wing madness, but self improvement. The side of me who asked you stay is the same side that asked me to stay 4 years ago. As you can see, there is still a conflict

Anonymous said...

A great article you will enjoy from San Francisco --- http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2004/12/15/notes121504.DTL --- Canada is going to Hell?

laura k said...

Dr Marco: then I thank you truly, and I apologize for misinterpreting. (I thought you were being snarky.)

I understand what you're saying about conflict. I have painful mixed feelings about leaving New York City, though they are assauged by the fact that I can visit - I won't be too far away geographically. So far I have no mixed feelings about leaving the US.

Thanks again, and best of luck to you, too.