7.23.2005

the toronto song

As sung by Groucho Marx, actual composer unknown.
Mr. and Mrs. Klein,
They lived a life so fine,
Until the relatives came.
Uncle und tante Wolf,
Brought over the little Wolfs,
Like wolves they lived up to their name.
One week went by,
Klein started to cry,
It looks like the Wolfs mean to stay.
So he tells his wife one night,
That while they were sleeping tight,
Let's leave them, and we'll run away.

Say, it's better to run to Toronto,
Than to live in a place you don't want to.
With twenty wolves in front of me,
My house looks like a menagerie.

Imagine the cheek from the tante,
To bring all the Wolfs from Toronto,
And, oy, how they can eat,
At least a pound of meat.

Say, they take what they want, when they want to.
Just think what the bills will amount to.
Every day they are growing more and more.
They eat one meal a day, that's right,
They start in the morning and finish at night.
It's going to be a cold cold winter,
And I can't keep the Wolfs from the door.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now this, I have to hear. Which Marx Bros. film is it from?

laura k said...

I don't know! Someone I recently told (via email) about the impending move replied, Is it because Groucho Marx said "It's better to run to Toronto than to marry a girl you don't want to?"

Huh?

So I googled it and found this! I didn't find it connected to a movie, however. Let me know if you find out. I'd love to hear it myself.

Anonymous said...

Ah, marriage... Y'know, Canada does turn up in nineteenth century novels and early feminist/suffragette works as the place of last resort to flee to when escaping marriage and/or the patriarchy (normally invoked, as near as I can tell, in the same tones as Siberia would be, if it had been the British hands).

DISCLAIMER: Wrye makes no claim, explicit or otherwise, that Canada is currently partriarchy free. Do not consume patriarchy if pregnant, able to become pregnant, or if prone to high blood pressure, ulcers, or underemployment.

Emigration to Canada is a major step and should not be attempted without first consulting a physician or other medical professional. Discontinue emigration to Canada immediately if frostbite develops.

Unknown said...

This is not from a movie, but rather from the Marx Brothers vaudeville days. They were performing as A German act, with heavy accents (see if you can find Groucho singing, “Oh how that Woman could cook!”). When a German U-boat sank the Lusitania, they dropped that act and became Jewish comedians. This song is from around 1915 or 16.

jeffr said...

This song is available on the album An Evening With Groucho, recorded at Carnegie Hall in 1972. Liner notes say that Irving Berlin denies writing it.