Laura Kaminker states that "Mother's Day is a feel-good celebration of motherhood" (Not A Motherhood Issue - letters, March 12) and contrasts it with International Women's Day, which is "about all women - whether or not they are mothers - changing the world."
The origin of Mother's Day in North America came from an anti-war Mother's Day Proclamation written in 1870 by U.S. feminist, suffragette and peace activist Julia Ward Howe. She began a one-woman peace crusade with her proclamation, which called on the women of the world to rise up against war.
An excerpt from her proclamation shows her original words are as relevant today as in 1870: "Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
She sought to change the world; it is to our shame that we have allowed the historical origin of this special day to be co-opted by sentimental, commercial interests.
Patricia Hartnagel
Edmonton
I am a big fan of Julia Ward Howe, and I'm very happy to learn this bit of American and women's history. If you happen to know Patricia Hartnagel, thank her for me.
21 comments:
Wow, learn something new every day. I thought Hallmark made up Mother's Day and Father's Day. I have always hated the holiday, even though I am a mother. Too corny, too fake, for me. This information may give me a different feeling when it rolls around this year.
I know! I never liked Mother's Day either, and only do a tiny obligatory bit b/c my mother expects it. (Sometimes I make a donation to a mothers-in-need type of group in her name.)
I know something about Julia Ward Howe, too, but if this information ever crossed my path, I didn't remember it.
Luckily for me, my mother also has little use for Mother's Day (although I do always call her, as my kids always call me). I have always felt that my mother deserved and had my love and respect every day, not once a year. I also feel that I have that from my own kids. So who needs a day to get dumb cards, wait on line for a bad meal at an overcrowded restaurant, and waste time listening to busy signals (my parents refuse to get call waiting)?
If we could convert the message into Howe's message---that women raise their children to be peace-loving, not to be soldiers, I would be much more likely to get meaning out of the holiday.
I have always felt that my mother deserved and had my love and respect every day, not once a year.
Yes, mine too, I am most fortunate to say.
And on the other hand, when your parent does not deserve your respect, being forced to fake it for the "Day", frankly, sucks.
I remember combing through the cards looking for something that didn't say "You're the best, Dad!" and have pictures of footballs and golf clubs. I would try to find the blandest, most low-key card possible, something that wouldn't be a flat-out lie. But if I didn't buy a card, and some sort of gift... trouble.
I have spoken to many people with similar memories.
So either way, great parent or not, it's a crappy waste of time.
I can imagine that, although I did not have that issue with either parent. However, the sexism of those cards drove me crazy! My father d0es not fish, play golf, or watch football, so finding a Father's Day card is a challenge. And though my mother is more stereotypical than I am in terms of enjoying cooking and shopping, I find those cards offensive anyway. So...a phone call is where I leave it.
I know, I always hated that, too. Now that there are good alternative cards, and a wide variety of lovely blank notes, it's easier.
My problem now with greeting cards - even the alternative variety - is the rampant ageism. We are all presumed to hate our birthdays. Can we think of nothing else to say on birthdays but bad jokes about our sagging bodies? I refuse to ever buy a card like that, ever, for anybody.
Greeting card companies just are evil, I think. The "humorous" cards are either sexist, ageist, vulgar, dumb, or just insulting. The sentimental ones are sickeningly sweet or inappropriately religious. A blank card is always the safest bet. But even then---do we need to waste all that paper?
If you happen to know Patricia Hartnagel, thank her for me.
Doesn't this fall under the "Oh, you're from Canada, do you know [_________]" category?
L: Do you sometimes wonder what Amy used to do in her life that she no longer has time for since she discovered JoS and wmtc?
Very nice, Allan. Now I will just crawl back in my hole where I used to live, playing solitaire and other computer games, searching for old friends on the internet, and watching hours of stupid TV.
But even then---do we need to waste all that paper?
I love sending cards, and I love receiving them. It's one of my life's pleasures. I'll look for recycled paper products, but I'll never stop sending them.
Doesn't this fall under the "Oh, you're from Canada, do you know [_________]" category?
Yes, exactly! You're the first person to pick up on it.
But it is a small world out there, and a big blogosphere. She might Google her name, so perhaps she will find this post.
L: Do you sometimes wonder what Amy used to do in her life that she no longer has time for since she discovered JoS and wmtc?
Hey, I sometimes wonder what I used to do that I no longer have time for since I started blogging!
The NY Times crossword puzzle is one thing. (I know Amy is a fellow addict. I am a former addict.)
I listen to less music.
I read fewer books, although I still read more books than most people I know.
Probably some other stuff too that I can't think of, because... see comments on JoS. :)
ITA on all the card stuff! My father doesn't do football or golf or fishing either so I always have that problem, although they've started going into the computer geek area too so that's helpful. The other problem is that a lot of the cards for fathers from daughters have this "daddy's girl" kind of theme that gives positive reinforcement to parenting behaviours that I consider negative, so that's always cringy. Plus there's all the toilet humour, which seems to be spilling out into other genres, even xmas cards. I don't need a poo joke in my grandmother's xmas card! And it's practically impossible to find a funny card for a grandmother from an adult grandchild! There are some humourous ones from children, but the ones from adults are all lace and flowers.
Things They Should Invent: greeting cards specifically for people you don't exactly love. Not outright insulting, just not too enthusiastic.
But all this makes me actually enjoy shopping for greeting cards, because it's kind of a treasure hunt to find the one appropriate card in existence. Although I've been trying to get a "buy the funniest card, even if it's for a different recipient" thing going, because cards are way unnecessarily specific (and unnecessarily heterosexist) about who they think the sender or recipient is. So if the funniest card is a birthday card marked "From your brother", I can still send it to my mother on her birthday. People don't seem to be going for that though.
She might Google her name, so perhaps she will find this post.
That's happened twice in my blog when I've named people who wrote letters to the editor.
But all this makes me actually enjoy shopping for greeting cards, because it's kind of a treasure hunt to find the one appropriate card in existence.
Me too! I enjoy it.
I just wrote a letter to Papyrus complaining about their inflated Cdn prices. They are my favourite card company, but I actually have to look at the prices before I scarf them up now - something I never did before. With the conversion, some of their cards are $10. That's ridiculous for a greeting card, no matter how nice it is.
And they're made in China. It's not like it costs them more to sell in Canada.
She might Google her name, so perhaps she will find this post.
That's happened twice in my blog when I've named people who wrote letters to the editor.
I have seen the Google searches in my Statcounter. The people haven't left comments, but I know they're out there. :)
Hmmm, shopping for cards is fun? OK, I have to get my head around that. I just hate standing in the aisle turning over card after card after card. But then I just generally don't like shopping.
See, Allan, all the time I could be spending shopping I can instead spend on the blogs....
But then I just generally don't like shopping.
Me neither.
There are a very few things I do enjoy shopping for, though - cards being one of them.
Like they say, variety is the spice of life (not sure that's really the right cliche), or to each his/her own. Some of us like shopping for cards, some of us like the Beatles, and some don't even like baseball.
(JOS meets WMTC again.)
Things They Should Invent: greeting cards specifically for people you don't exactly love. Not outright insulting, just not too enthusiastic.
My wife and I have talked about this -- I think possibly in the context of Mother's Day for her mother. "Arm's Length Greetings" we're calling it.
Invest now!
I have pretty much given up 'days' - I keep up with very few birthdays outside of my family, but if I see a card or a gift that I think a friend would like, I send it, whether or not I have an excuse. Luckily most of my friends seem to have the same approach....
I do 'do' Mothering Sunday - it is a religious festival in the UK - although it's origins are in a return to the 'mother' church (where you were baptised) rather than a return to your physical mother. In times past it was one of the days when live in servants were allowed to return home.
When I was a student I decided to bake a traditional Mothering Sunday Simnel cake (they are also eaten at Easter) but went out on the Friday evening and didn't start until quite late, it wasn't until I read the last line of the recipe that I realised how long I had to bake it for - needless to say the small hours weren't too wee when I eventually went to bed - then the trains messed up and I ended up taking the most expensive taxi ride of my life as my parents believe that cell phones should be used for outgoing calls only and then safely turned off... does anyone else have this problem? Can it be solved? Sorry - this is an entirely random and only vaguely related anecdote - I just felt like sharing it... :-)
"does anyone else have this problem? Can it be solved?"
Which problem? Not realizing what the recipe calls for until it's too late? People who only use cell phones for outgoing calls? (I am one of those.)
Why did you have to call your parents on their cell phones, rather than their land line? I'm confused.
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