we move to canada
Open 24 HoursTil 11 pmMon-Sun
Ahhh, America at her best.Sigh.
What, you expected them to be open the 24 hours all in a row?
Why didn't you snap a photo and send it to Jay Leno?
Jay LenoAh, the 3rd reason we left the US.
I needed something late one night so I went to the "Open 24 Hours" store. When I got the guy was locking the door. I said, "What are you doing? Your sign says you're open 24 hours!" He said, "Not in a row!"-- Steven Wright, "I Had A Pony"
Sorry, that should have been "I Have A Pony".
When I saw the sign, I immediately thought of the Steven Wright routine. :-)I called Information, I said, where's my sock? The operator said, look under the bed...
My all-time favourite Steven Wright line is:I lost a buttonhole.But what was even better than the line itself (on I Have A Pony) was how the audience does not react at all for about 2 seconds before it hits them and they burst out laughing.The great thing about my apartment building is that we're allowed to have pets. I have a pony.
I have kind of the opposite problem... every time I see something like an "Open till 12 AM" sign on, say, Shopper's Drug Mart, I somehow convince myself, 'Oh! They're open 24 hours, how handy!' And then comes the Saturday night I need something at 1 AM and I either get in the car or walk (if driving is, for some reason, contraindicated) and almost without fail, I've forgotten the last time I showed up to darkened windows and a parking lot full of tumbleweeds and howling coyotes. I supposed I'd be the guy writing the "Open 24H till 11 PM" signs in different circumstances.Alas. :)
My fave Steven Wright line:It's a small world... but I wouldn't want to paint it.And while I'm at it, a George Carlin routine that literally had me laugh myself out of my chair as a kid:Hey, why doncha join the service? Join the f***in' service! Join up and die! How do you expect to keep the country free if you won't die? I'm dead. I died in World War II! I'm f***in' dead!! Can you say that? C'mon! Join up and die!
Hey, why doncha join the service? Join the f***in' service! Join up and die! How do you expect to keep the country free if you won't die? I'm dead. I died in World War II! I'm f***in' dead!! Can you say that? C'mon! Join up and die!Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan were often taking the wind out of the British military... They did up a spoof of the British Army recruitment posters once:Join the ArmySee the WorldMeet Interesting New PeopleAnd Kill Them
For those that wonder, the reason 24h stores have locks is so that the operator can lock the door while in the back, using the washroom, etc.
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