12.09.2005

ashes

We picked up Buster's ashes yesterday.

My heart broke all over again. But it also brought a greater sense of finality - of closure.

I had totally forgotten about the extra stuff that came with the ashes. The company that does the cremation and supplies the urn includes a paw print with the dog's name written in it. Kind of silly, I guess, but nice.

They also ask you about ordering other things, which is tough, because it's so hard to make decisions when you're under that kind of stress. I was crying, and trying to hold it together. Allan was waiting outside with Buster while I was inside making the arrangements, B was straining to come in and see me... Ugh.

So in this kind of painful daze, I ordered a sterling silver necklace. It's a little locket shaped like a doggie bone that holds a bit of his ashes. Maybe that sounds morbid? I like the idea.

We had intended to donate a whole bunch of Buster's unused medications, but I had been putting it off. Now that the ashes are here, I feel able to do it. I wasn't consciously waiting, I just suddenly feel ready. I stocked up on the very expensive eye medications before we moved, and we're hoping some clients of our old veterinary ophthalmologist can use them. Maybe they'll help another dog keep his vision for a while longer. We also have a lot of expensive anti-anxiety meds, which I'll send with a note to the behaviourist. At the very least, it's good karma.

And yesterday morning we received a card in the (paper) mail from VH, the dog trainer. She is a really special person, whose work is all about helping people live with their animals. Her expertise and patience improved our lives immeasurably. No, more than that, it made our lives possible: without her, Buster never could have accepted new dogwalkers, and that was a necessity with our old work schedule.

Just before Buster's death, VH and I had been in touch again by phone regarding dogsitting for our upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. She was incredibly generous with her time and encouraged us to call whenever we needed. Since Buster died so soon after we spoke, I wrote to tell her and to thank her.

We received a beautiful note in reply, on the day we were picking up the ashes. A lovely and sad coincidence - or not, depending on your beliefs.

10 comments:

mkk said...

L, what a beautiful tribute to Buster.

Masnick96 said...

*hug*

James said...

With Tigger, we decided to forgo the ashes. Instead asked the vet to give us Tigger's longest whisker, which we attached to our favourite framed photo of him.

L-girl said...

Thanks guys. :)

I love that picture of Tigger. Since we have Gypsy and Clyde's ashes, we certainly had to have B's. :)

That whisker thing is a great idea.

hemlock said...

I don't think the locket is morbid at all. I think it's touching.

L-girl said...

Thank you. It makes me feel good to have it, I find it comforting - so that's reason enough.

Wrye said...

Not morbid at all. I carry on my keychain 2 items from a lost loved one's keychain. Morbid would be dwelling on it, say, instead of going on enjoying your life and just taking them everywhere with you for the ride.

L-girl said...

Nicely put, Wrye. (As usual.)

gibgric said...

L-girl,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Buster. My heart goes out to you all. I've been absorbed with finals and a houseful of family for US Thanksgiving, that I've missed reading WMTC for a couple of weeks, although I'm a huge fan. Be well.

L-girl said...

Gibgric, thank you so much. I blogged about it while it was happening (probably too much) if you want to get caught up. Doctor's appt w/ bad news was Dec 14, Worst Day Ever was Dec 16.

Nice to meet you, btw. Your China photos are spectacular!