middle of the night fears

I am worried about Buster.

His intestinal issues have not responded to any of our vet's new ideas. Once again, things have spontaneously worsened. In the immediate sense we have it under control, but we're taking him to a specialist on Monday. My vet wants him to have a colonoscopy, so we can find out with certainty what's going on.

My own condition has been downgraded from concerned and somewhat stressed to officially worried.

I'm afraid he may have a serious illness. I'm afraid of losing him.

These fears may be premature, but tonight, here they are.


I had dinner tonight with one of my closest friends - it was the last time we'll see each other while we both live in New York. NN and I met in college, traveled in Europe together after we graduated, then both moved to the city, and have been here together since then. That little sentence encompasses 26 years. We've known each other longer than we've known our life partners.

I know a lot of people, but I have only a few close friends. Of course we'll see each other, hopefully a few times a year. But it's a big change. The end of an era.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little emotional tonight. Gulp, sniffle, etc.


Mario said...

You know L-g, a friend like the one you described, will always be your friend, even though you can't see each other often. I have many experiences like that... you can go years without seing a good friend, but when you finally meet again, it's like not a day has passed. Real friendship lasts forever, don't worry!

L-girl said...

Thanks, Mario. I know you're right. She and I will be friends forever. But leave-taking is hard, there is sadness. I believe in acknowledging that, that's just how I am.

Pearl Pocock said...

Bell Canada has a plan that is offered with there bundles whereby you can buy 1,000 long distance minutes for $5. You can call your best friends daily.

L-girl said...

Thanks, Pearl. I actually have better than that. I get VOIP through Vonage - unlimited local and long distance, including US/Canada, for a flat $25/month. I'll have no problem staying in touch.

As I'm sure you know, when you're used to being neighbors with someone, becoming long-distance is a big change. That's all.

Marnie said...

Oh dear. *pat, pat* (One for you, a tentative one for Buster) I daresay a big move like this brings lots of emotional moments. Yes, your friendship with NN will be different now, but it seems to have very strong roots. Best wishes to Buster and his verklempt* people.

(*Bonus point for using a Yiddish-ism)

Lone Primate said...

I think you're going to have the best of both worlds, LK. New York is going to become for you only the good stuff. The petty irritations of daily life? Well, that's going to be Port Credit. :) New York, and the people there, will soon be for you bright, shiny experiences you look forward to every season or so; the wheat separated from the chaff. Fine liqueur you sip. Situating yourself close to NY, but far enough away that it's a weekender, is probably going to make the place all the better to you. Meanwhile, we're lucky to live in an age where, if you won't see NN everyday (not that I'm suggesting you necessarily do even now), you can certainly be in touch with her everyday.

I hope things with Buster's health turn out to be easily dealt with. Worrying about complicated medical treatments, you don't need -- at any time, but especially in the middle of an international move. He should be spry for all those walks along Lake Ontario in September. Odds are, he will be. Keep faith.

L-girl said...

LP, I thank you for this, more than I can express. I'm going to print out the comment to read as needed.

Marnie, thank you, too. You're right, plus you did a mitzvah, bubbela. Two points there for me. ;-)

I just came home and I'm schvitzing from the heat.

Three points there!

G said...

Without true friendship, you've got bupkis! It is the greatest thing in the world, and visits back to NYC will bring nothing but joy.

I kvell when I think of how great it will be to have you here. I am sure you are full of all sorts of shpilkes during all of the mishegas surrounding the move. Hang in there!

That's about all the Yiddish this goyim can remember right now, better quit before I come across looking like too much a shlemiel.


Wrye said...

LP is exactly right. This is why you're going to Toronto, and not say, New Zealand or Iqaluit. Best of both worlds, LG.

But nothing wrong with being a little verklempt now and then. Life is what it is, and you're entitled to be human. Ideally, we'd get to live in a castle with all the friends we've ever known, and have adventures and put on shows. And there would be cake. Mmmm, cake.

L-girl said...

In fact, it is why we're coming to Toronto and not New Zealand, among other reasons.

I think life is to be experienced in its fullest, and that includes the rough spots and the pain. (Not that this qualifies as pain.) I don't try to rationalize and wish it all away.

The castle sounds nice, though. Chocolate cake, with lots of chocolate frosting, made with rich ingredients - that had no calories, of course.

gito said...

Hi Laura: I think is very sad that you are leaving your friends behind. But in away distance sometimes makes relations ships stronger, plus your friend now has an excuse to visit Toronto!;)

David Cho said...

Laura, I wish you and Buster well. Will be pulling for you.

L-girl said...

G, what can I say, you're a real mensch. I'm a bit mishuga from the tsuris w/ Buster, but you bring me nachas. (And that ain't no female corn chip!)

How do you say LOL in Yiddish anyway?

L-girl said...

David: thank you. I know it, and I really appreciate it.

Gito: thank you. I tell everyone that now they have excuses to visit Toronto! It's true.